Swimmin' hole

Hello friends.

Things have been crazy and jumbled. Busy. It's summer! I think I am one of those free spirits. Compulsive free spirits, but a free one at that. I have these raging lists in my head for the rest of the summer. Things like, having a fried chicken picnic with B. Swimming, even though I am not a great swimmer. I am, a fabulous dog paddler. I am just that fancy. I have been writing a list of places I want to go. I am saving money, but I am spending at the same time. I am switching the boys to their own baby beds. Which is tough. Those fellers are my babes. A sense of wonderful security. I am in control of my allergies. I am working on to have a handle of my emotions. Appreciating my Daddy and Mama. Missing the time I could have spent with, well, anyone. Stepping in and out of the shadows, and trying to facilitate myself into better situations. Praying for God's goodness. Understanding the lessons. Learning to play golf. AT LEAST TO CONNECT WITH THE BALL. I am cooking. A lot. And, I think I'm pretty good at at. Reading. I mean, really reading. Reading things that don't ultimately interest me. I just long for self-improvement. I have been listening to more classic rock, so there I am. Living without air conditioning in the car. Thankful it's not my home. We would just have to abandon the place, or at least leave a sign on the door: GONE FISHIN'......

B is doing his best to push me, at least this is the discussion before church yesterday. I had already been up since the crack of dawn and since church has a late service at 11:45, this is the one we sashayed into. We were all talky, excited, and silly. Then B asks me questions. Let's get this right. B doesn't just ask questions. B asks questions with such intensity because he is living to understand. It's pure genius, downright maniacal. B told me that the reason he pushed me so hard is because he knows that I have a lot in me, and would love to hear about all of it! that made me smile, and I feel loved! He wants me to get to the root of things, and really discuss things. I don't have to agree with him, which is nice. I just have to form my own opinion, and stand rooted in my belief. What a nice feature on a friend. He just wants to get it. Other than his other observation with me is that you can be close to me and be like a mushroom. Take a lot of shit and be left in the dark. This only happens because once I am done with something mentally, I have literally washed my hands of it, and put it out of my head. I try not to be too stinky on him. Ya know, wear skirts. Keep him focused. Until we are back in the closet in the bedroom together and being questioned like a silly house cat.

Back on some kind of subject. I saw this show about a lobster. Well, the show wasn't about the lobster, but I made this lobster the star of the show. And it only took 28 minutes. It was so and so's show, and she had already made her way back to California or wherever. Her buddies had stayed behind and had a drunken night in Mexico. Which is great and fine. One of the buddies steals the lobster out of the tank. Takes it to the beach. Runs with this lobster. In his hands. Running and lobster holding doesn't sound like a great comedy team. It makes me think of running with scissors, and heavy death metal. The buddy, with the lobster, ends up at the shore and is laughing like drunk buddies do, trying to set this thing free. Buddy, throws Mr. Man lobster like a rock. Buddy, satisfied with his efforts in saving the lobsters, probably killed this thing. 28 minutes to find this out. To find out this helpless lobster, that would have been more than satisfied to live his life to the fullest, providing that whole circle of life thing..... Being boiled alive and eaten. This was his God given right. Who am I to ramble on about lobsters? Really nobody, but I even screamed at the TV - TAKE THE RUBBER BANDS OFF!!! If Mr. Man Lobster did survive, do you think he had one of his buddies, to snip him free? No, because he's a sea creature, and they don't know anything but survival. If there hasn't been a lesson in all this, please don't let drunk buddies throw purpose driven lobsters back into the wild.......