Mojo

Just a little wow, meow.
I am a mountain cat.
Hear me purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.


I've had money thrown at me, and not in a good way today. I laughed today and had someone ask me what I was laughing at. By the way, nothing funny had been said, but apparently the facade is breaking. B works tonight. B wants to go to early church tomorrow. Paula doesn't want to drive to early church tomorrow. I'm not sure how to feel. Bored? 30? Half-full? Insufficient? I tried living in a fantasy world, and that was one bad move, dude. Real life is a nerve racking adventure that makes me uncomfortable. I need a middle.

I had an epiphany last night at my parents. It's still too early to discuss this though.

I have been making to-do lists, and surprisingly, this has earned me some coping skills and also generate a little focus. Let's not get carried away here, but I feel something homemade coming on.
Have I mentioned how weird it is B works 3rd shift? It's really odd. His 4 days on are murder in a box. Sunday. Sunday. Sunday. I should look forward to you, but, now I'm all knock-kneed.

Uh, did I mention how tough it is to be in an adult realationship with a boo who works 3rds and lives 40 minutes away? It's weird! I feel as if all the little compartments of my life are just shattering! At this time, the magic should be coming together. Er, not yet.

Gah. The farm work NEVER ends either. How do you explain this to cattle who need to be tended to? I will tell you. All your complaints fall on deaf ears, but, at least it gets out in the open. A cheap form of therapy? Absolutely. No judgement either. They chew their cud and look at you through the fly eye patches. I feed 'em watermelon rhines and squash.

I dug out all the old leaves by the house and my eyes are puffed out of my face. I look similar to E.T., a cute E.T., but an E.T. nonetheless. I sprayed poison and acted like a crazy jay hawk to keep Ladybird away. I'm sweating just thinking about it. I enjoy summer, bring on the heat....
Spraying the poison? Not really a big deal. Mixing the crap? Another matter. Lugging it around?
Terrifying.


Ya know what though? It's all okay. This is my life and I have to remember baby steps.....