Thursday, January 31, 2013
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Nervous Nelly
I forgot my wallet today, even though I made a really great lunch. I'm real anxious and excited all at once, I have a stomach ache the size of the United Kingdom. I made a really neat breakfast of fried egg, over easy, spinach and mushrooms. I'm craving spagehetti and Jme is coming over tonight. I don't know if I can canoe or fall out of the boat. Get bit by a red headed rattlesnake. Sometimes I want to look into the future and either possess the dread or own the happiness.
Monday, July 23, 2012
How Long?
We all face this question. How long will it last? Whether it's a good thing, or a great feeling, or the horrible feeling of dread. I'm nervous. But in a good way. I'm optimistic, and full of joy. Remembering that just because things are not what we imagined, doesn't make it a failure. It's just a different plan. Different isn't a boo boo. Different is beautiful. I have to remember to embrace it.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
New Phase
Every day is a new day, and even when things don't go exactly as planned. It's okay. I am changing, and so is everyone else. Just like the moon, new phase is already in progress.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Just like the Horses
I don't think any of us had this dream. The way the dream turned out. We had bigger ideas, bigger fish to fry, and less real worries. If we keep going, that's the only way to find out how the dream ends. At least, continues. Holding on, and holding out. The horizon is close, hurting our eyes and our pride. At least the horses haven't given out, and they keep comin' back for more. Just like us. Not giving up, giving in, or flaking out. Holdin' the road the best to our content. Strong.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Do your best
Well the altitude has changed here. You can feel it. It's all shifted looking a little different, feeling different, and it shows. Continue to do your best and just let it fly, this is all that can happen. Entitled to change our minds, the power to make a real difference. I can't change what I can't control, but I can change my mind. Like anyone else breathing we are all in a struggle. For power, money, and yes, even just getting by. This is survival mode and although we can't live in this place, we sure hang on to it with bloody fingers and squeeze hope til we just pop. I'm just still fighting and tired of the feeling of whats the point, does it matter, and how can I make it better?
Im not perfect, just transparently human. Aching at times. At least we have each other and when no one understands, or cares to stop for a minute to remind themselves that we are just that, flesh and blood. Webs of electrons and protons firing all at once and confusing what comes out. Misinterpreted is the word I believe. Im not a fixer, and I do find myself begging to hold on, look for a quick option, just relieving some pressure from the cooker on the stove. We cant keep living in a way that is unbearable. These snippets of what if, and whats it worth, has to come to a close. Taking a deep breath and walking the path is all the energy we have, then thats all that gets done. No more, no less. I cant listen to the aftermath, especially when there's nothing to lose. Risk taker. Don't under mind what other people, worlds, or creatures just will not understand or put themselves in your shoes. Just constantly work through it, telling yourself that you will move past this. The less kicking and screaming may be the best. Even if you do find yourself crying, kicking, screaming, and maybe even hating the everything of whatever you are trying to deal with, that is ok. it just is. It will just have to be. I cant live on the exception that may be hanging in the balance. The exception may not be real, most of the time, its all imaginary. These fears, these demons, the dirt under your fingernails....The ache is real though, that is understood. Humans and our emotions are not made of diamonds, we are not hard, never are we to really be. Humans are to be soft and hopeful. Sick of the microscope we are under, and just fighting and living action words.
Im not perfect, just transparently human. Aching at times. At least we have each other and when no one understands, or cares to stop for a minute to remind themselves that we are just that, flesh and blood. Webs of electrons and protons firing all at once and confusing what comes out. Misinterpreted is the word I believe. Im not a fixer, and I do find myself begging to hold on, look for a quick option, just relieving some pressure from the cooker on the stove. We cant keep living in a way that is unbearable. These snippets of what if, and whats it worth, has to come to a close. Taking a deep breath and walking the path is all the energy we have, then thats all that gets done. No more, no less. I cant listen to the aftermath, especially when there's nothing to lose. Risk taker. Don't under mind what other people, worlds, or creatures just will not understand or put themselves in your shoes. Just constantly work through it, telling yourself that you will move past this. The less kicking and screaming may be the best. Even if you do find yourself crying, kicking, screaming, and maybe even hating the everything of whatever you are trying to deal with, that is ok. it just is. It will just have to be. I cant live on the exception that may be hanging in the balance. The exception may not be real, most of the time, its all imaginary. These fears, these demons, the dirt under your fingernails....The ache is real though, that is understood. Humans and our emotions are not made of diamonds, we are not hard, never are we to really be. Humans are to be soft and hopeful. Sick of the microscope we are under, and just fighting and living action words.
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