Monday, July 18, 2011


We really have a need for a rhythm of life. I think we all do. We all crave not monotony, not even schedule, but some kind of sameness. Something to count on. Although no one is going to experience the same thing, I do believe we all get to take advantage of what is possible. Unlike some of these sensibilities we crave, downright need, the world loves to take that away from us. Our deep cravings of closeness and desire of a normal rhythm is unbelievably important. We wouldn't all be so hungry for it, if this wasn't the case. The man for instance, trying to get us down. Life in general trying to get us down. Or even tragedy for goodness sake. Things we don't have control of. Throwing us in tailspins and crashing us into the snowy mountains. eh. Its ridiculous.

Things are so confusing that I get to the point of daydreaming of being bitten by a crocodile. That's strange. I don't live anywhere near crocodiles. Maybe I'm trying to tell myself something.

I grew out of that stage of wanting silly, pointless things. I'm in an area of pure craving. I crave/want great things. I want to live in the same household as my B. We cant live together because its against moral law. Even if we did, would we be cheating what ultimately is going to happen? I'm not sure. But there's fear there and I think that fear is necessary in order for me not to pack my dogs like the hillbillies and strap the stepbrothers into seat belts causing much drama all around. I don't think there is a mighty fix it. I think that some where, life is going to have to give. Sacrifice is what will have to come into play. I had gotten to a (selfish) place where I couldn't allow any more sacrifice to enter my life, but I am slowly coming into realizing that maybe it wasn't so bad. Sacrifice is a key to recieve more unexpectedly, and that's math dude! Is this the ebb and flow I need to relinquish so more can be planted and manifested? More than likely.

I'm going to keep on.

Wednesday we plan to hike and hopefully some answers will just come up on their own then. I'm inviting these answers to come along on this hike. That's open minded, right? Invite the answers out and see if they show up? Heck, that's downright genius. (I'm patting myself on the back.)

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