I feel a lot of things moving like the tectonic plates all over the world. I need brainpower improved, manpower renewed. I have made some choices out of fear. Good ones, bad ones. I have held back life moments that could have been circumstantially better, if only I had made a move, instead of being paralyzed by fear. I suppose this is where I should say, no more!
But we all know I could say that, and nothing would change. I can hope to stop being so fearful, hope is never ending. There was a brief period of time where I wasn't fearful. I made informed educated decisions. I also made careless choices. Some dangerous in hindsight. I need a healthy mix. During this time I was also thrown in the lion's den. Living on pure faith. Surviving on nothing else. Here I am at the potter's wheel once more. Creating. I'm just half alive some seconds of every day, and I dont like it. You know the moments in movies where things cometogether for the characters, and it all makes sense to the audience too? I believe I may be on the cusp of this. Indirectly, but directly. There, but not just yet. You see, the future is always uncertain. No matter if you have a plan, intend to stick to the plan, yada, yada, yada. There is no promise, no room for remorse, apologies. This year I believe will be about stepping out on faith, saying no to fear, and opening new doors that are uncertain. Which is generally every year, but maybe we wont be so surprised about the inevitable obvious. Maybe we wont be so stumped about life. Maybe we could move ahead. Maybe we could move ahead together. The only thing left is letting go of fear and living by faith, but that would land us where we think we started.