Thursday, April 7, 2011
That'll do, Pig.
I find myself lying by the sea. all dressed up with nowhere to go. Asking for guidance, and begging for relief. I cant stand the way I have to beg, and wake up in a vast darkness. Visions of being attacked by those demons I cant seem to fight today. Making my own pillows, working very hard on myself, and ignoring the fact I cant be seen. Good job pig is going to cut it today. For that matter, I dont know if good job pig isnt going to cut it at all. Am I greedy? I really dont think so. I think I am beyond frustrated and tired of hearing only my voice. I have sick dogs and Im terrified they are sick because of me. What to do? Start just doing everything Im just going to do and not care about those wild repercussions I imagine could happen? My garden is small, and I have to do all the work. you might want to eat out of my garden and claim that you deserve half, brag to your friends about "our" garden when truthfully, you just expected me to do all the work without me getting upset about it. We have to work. this is a part of life. even when my face is puffy, and im told my blood pressure may be down. she said I looked just like a ghost. even my ears were white. I cant tell if I feel good or bad, because this is just how I feel all the time. I get that dig in my belly when im told things i cant stand to hear. i feel disappointed for the people who disappoint me. Its really a shame. A cold shame. if only I could. Scratch that, IF ONLY I WILL. i dont want to be carried off, honey poured on me, and have the ants unleashed. i cry and the world turns its shoulder. im tough and it cant get enough of me. silly stuff there. anyway. i have to redo the clothesline and buy my weed eater. because no matter how much I want someone else to do it, there just isnt enough money or time. p.s. im getting scandalous about my coupon cutting.