Wednesday, December 15, 2010
It's time to tell you. A little about time travel. I had dreams last night. I dreamt of the future and possibly dreamt of the past. Generally speaking, I'm just trying to get through a day at a time. Since I decide to remember my yesterdays, it teleports me to the future. Although uncertain, the future is on it's way. I'm at a crossroads. Maybe because it's Christmas, or that it's December 2010. I'm not exactly positive. I am sure eating my way through this month is a horrible idea. I am certain I am pushing all the ugly thoughts in my head, and new words appear. Responsibility. Self-Discipline. Discernment. Ah. In that all too familiar battle with self and want. Even though I push the selfish little bird out of her nest, she always remembers her beginning. I remind her that it's all a matter of time. As usual, she hates to hear this, so she generally leaves. But not without a fight. Not without (almost) torment. I ask her to let it go, feel better soon! She doesnt appreciate the "Get well soon" card I send her after she leaves. That's her nature, unappreciative and focused soley only on herself. After time, she gets ahold of herself, and eventually lets go.