Thursday, July 1, 2010


It would be safe to say that the coast is not clear. Whether Micheal Myers, or gremlins posing as inanimate objects..... or dreaming of your sister telling you that she saw a demon in your room. My reality just chases me. I have all these little plans, all laid out, ready to engage, then BAM! No beuno. I warm up more nacho cheese and do my best to deal with it. There are times when I don't agree, but remind myself to keep to myself. Opinions of mine seem fleeting, and that seems to be the best thing to do with them. I use my opinions as fuel to start up the choo choo of love. It sounds a little out there. Love? Being choo choo fuel? Oh yes, I don't believe there is any other choice. There can't be any other reason I feel this way, with my heart open to suggestion. There's also conviction. I would say, obsessive, compulsive, convicted, and loving would be some words to describe my demeanor. I still wake up through the night to pray. Pray about everything, and the rest can be added. The wait is worth it. The sunshine has helped me 100%. It's okay nothing is done. Just get started, is what it boils down to.

I did acquire a baked fried chicken recipe that I kind of figured out on my own anyway. I just need people to cook for. How irritating!!! I cook well, my own Daddy said so. I like country food and think it can be made in healthy ways, but it's good to add a little butter to everything. It's the only way my southern buds can actually taste any kind of food. I guess I could have a little ho down. If only people could show up. I sound discouraged, don't I? I suppose I am today. Not afraid, a touch anxious. And mad. Not mad, mad. But mad. I'm ready for changes that aren't necessary for me yet...... What a bummer.

With everything and nothing going on at the same time, and not to point fingers.... but gumption is something I need for my fuel tank. I haven't been on a hike in ages. B is working. I am grateful. This lamb though, spoiled by a wonderful day with B on Tuesday, really wants more of those days. It was a glimpse of how things are with B. It was comfort. Now just leave me here to dry.

I won't lie. It's a work in progress and I hope we always have a romantic, artistic eye for our realationship. I didn't mean for that to sound dirty, I just meant it in a "JFK eternal flame" type of way. Constant. It's okay of life isn't guaranteed, just as long as God directs our footpaths, and I continue to cultivate my gift of discernment.

Besides the boogey men and gremlins, it's all really the same.

And I'm pissed we can't go on the canoeing trip at the end of July.

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