Thursday, October 28, 2010

Idle Idol

Turns out I have quite a bit on my heart today and it came out through my eyes. I had a very tight chest and poured it all out of the pitcher known as my heart. It was a great moment. You know those times after you just admit what has you all a tizzle, and you feel better? As in feeling better in quantum measurements? Yeah, it was that awesome. Let's rehash some things here. Let's start with dreams as of late. I have dreamed about bears, invisible man, boats. Maybe not in that order and not at the same time either, but I have dreamed all of these interesting dreams. Apparently I have also created a shoe fetish that arrived this week also. Very strange. The whole shoe thing has made me go into heat in some respect there. I really want to buy things. I also really want to decorate and paint. At the bookstore/antique store and listen to funk for a while. I want to become the unexpected. It felt just like that time my heart was broken into a million pieces and I had to figure out how to heal. It felt like when I told Jme that she was a cheater and a cheatee and that was probably confusing all in itself. I suppose it's self-reflection. I suppose it's self-awareness, but whatever it is, it turns into almost a melancholy moment. I took a picture of a tree in the dark this morning. It was neat. It was right by the outside light, and just enough of it turned out. It was good enough for me. There are a few words that have been calling out to me, love is one. Love yourself, love others, love always. Love and the world can see God in you.

Negativity is born in the gap where love has been excluded. Gaps occur in places where we are afraid to see ourselves. - Deepak Chopra

I like that, and can believe that. Remember the post about Uz? I still feel like I might be at the outskirts of Uz. Uz is that place we have to remember where we were in order to keep on going. Fighting that good fight, if you will.

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