Thursday, October 7, 2010

Jacob's Ladder

As we all know there are times in our lives where we have to drop the act and just ask ourselves; What the deuce? What the deuce is going on here? How the deuce did I get here? And the most famous, Who the deuce died and made you king of it all? Sure, there are days I am completely disoriented about real life. I Spackle it and contort it until it looks like something I can try to discuss with another human being about. At least, maybe in my mind I am a person I can be proud of. Scratch that. I'm always a person that I can be proud of, and I aint responsible for anyone else. All in all, it still doesnt stop me from saying; What the deuce about it all!

Can I mention how I am trying to cut everyone else some slack too? My dogma doesnt ride on anyone else but me, so I need to let go. Control isn't mine, it never has been, it never will be. I have an incredible feller who loves me. Even when I let it out on him. We talk. I mean, we taaaaalk. He listens even though he has every right to tune out, because believe it or not, I like to express my opinion into the ground. Or mud. And beat it to pieces. To oblivion. B likes that. He describes that part of me as 'passionate.' That's flattering! It's a fault, but he seems to like that fault! Hey, no complaints here friends.

I have a story about a raccoon. And a mole. And a Ladybird. And a Babylove and a Mr. Kitty. The latter 2 are in major trouble with not taking care of said mole. You would think Ladybird would haul off and chase said raccoon. But no. No beuno. No. LBD lets that raccoon take a bath in her water, and I think that psychopath likes the thing. Which makes NO sense. Back to not keeping score, as long as the mole, raccoon, and my children dont get into scuffles, there's not much I can do. Except set traps. And that's what Im gonna do! I just have to find some humane traps for the mole, and said raccoon, and hope the brothers don't get caught in the traps! Those 3 haven't won any awards, but I haven't either, but between the gang of us, surely we can figure it out.

With fall here, there is so much work to be done. Never count out personal grooming. As in our minds and bodies. Both are so neglected, there's no surprise to me how worn down we are. As a culture, as just people. I read our Pastor's blog this morning, he is on a trip to Costa Rica for a leadership conference. pastor Chris discussed a book he is reading, and now of course, I want to read as well. It's called The Christian Atheist by Craig Groeschel. It's the questions that PC was asking in the blog that has me wanting to read the book, and it also leads me back to the book I am reading now. Plan B by Pete Wilson. Anyhooter, back to PC's blog. The Holy Spirit jumped from the page as I read the following questions, and confirmed that God is here. The first question is: Where are you struggling to trust Him? That one got me right in the gut. It made me bijiggity. The next one is: What area do you need Him to move? And, the final: If you fully trusted Him with everything, what would you try that you are holding back right now? I cannot specifically answer all 3, but the first one especially laid witness to me. Back to Plan B, Pete Wilson brought up a scripture I have been sitting on for the past week. It's Matthew 6:25-27.

25 "So I tell you, don't worry (be anxious) about the food or drink you need to live, or about the clothes you need for your body. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothes."

26 "Look at the birds in the air. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, but your heavenly Father feeds them. And you know you are worth much more than the birds."

27 "You cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it."

Jesus wants us to not worry about obvious things, and this morning, I got to hear exactly what He has asked me to hear for long while. It was an "AHA!" moment for me. As for the other 2 questions, I need time to pray on those. I am trying to be honest to myself, instead of pushing it down and damaging me. I'm just me, being me.

My action plan is to try to stop comparing myself to the Jones', not berate what is or isnt happening, and just trying to enjoy this time in my life. Nothing is wrong, I have just created everything to be wrong, and Jesus doesnt want me or you to live this way. Besides, I am one of His bird's.


  1. So much of this makes me happy...

    So much of this makes me continue to think as well.