Saturday, April 17, 2010

egg crates

I thought about it and it made my eyes water. Stepping back in time is usually detrimental to my mental health. Check. When out on the fringe, I am not ordinary. It made me think of Veruca Salt. The band, not the character from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I've lost my focus and have gotten off track. I am left unsatisfied and have painted a picture only I can see. I am ready to be able to tell you about it. Only in due time, and showing up to church barefoot and open. Things have changed but not in the way I have asked. Pretty predictable, huh? At said moment I am trying to think of ways of change the things I have the power TO change. Not willy nilly wiles. Real change. Recovery. Addiction. Breaking free of chains. Theories. Heartbreak. Series. Events. Light. Bane. Travel. Insurrection. Brutal. Run. Moving. Apprehension. Drawing energy. Casualties. 100s. I saw Dr. Maku on TV. Seeing him turned into my white tulip. Turned into my sign. Reminded me of what my values really are. Conventional to a point, unconventional to where you cant stand it. the closer I got to understanding the better I felt. I wanted to invest in the hammock. that would be an investment. Closer inventory. Closer to God. closer to you. My heart skipped a beat and it was from that point unavoidable. Also, painfully unattainable. the great thing about loss is recovering what you can learn. Feeling better happens. My eyes were open. He said it was hard to find a girl without a tattoo. I still don't understand why I like the snow in the Freddy movies. I hate snow. But it's so wang chung.......

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