Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Walking in circles - Producer of crop circles...

It would be fair to say that if I close my mind off nothing good will wander in there, but I can't keep panicking that nothing good will happen. Most of us are going through major life issues. Sickness, debt, major relationship flaws with our significants.....blah, blah, blah. I like to think of myself as an aware individual. Open minded. These things that are wonderful attributes are being overshadowed by fear. I mean, I'm praying. Praying with such fervor I shake. Unwillingly. I start getting goose bumps. I long to hear good news. I shake! That leads me to believe I am prying IN The Holy Spirit, which is dynamite to my soul, brother. There have been times when I pray I feel as effective as saying a Japanese Haiku, and I think we have all been there. Standing in those unfavorable moccasins. Reaching out to anyone. Anything. Even to people who had turned their backs to us. We bear holes through their skulls staring into their brains to catch a glimpse of what has may seemed easy breezy for them to hold onto. But it's not about that. The day I talked about "not looking on other people's papers?" I have to stop the comparison, because it turns out we are all in the same fire. But we don't have to live with the burns. We may be singed. We may smell of the flames. We are still here. Walking by incredible, joyous faith. A word to sum up my emotions for the past few weeks would be referenced to FOCUS. Something I refuse to have even though I boldly need control of everything in my realm. I will continue to pray like a maniac, I will keep walking through the flames because walking through is not impossible. I am praying for real opportunity. Equal opportunity. Grounded efforts. Trying not to juggle too much will be one way to get ahead. Focus on one thing at a time, firmly believing I am make slow progress and not freaking out over things that really don't matter and not adding to my cause in a positive light. Things are hairy now, and I think it's going to get worse before it gets better. I am trying to be careful with my words, hoping nothing gets misconstrued. I don't take for granted that God knows my heart and automatically knows what I mean. I am trying to be accountable for the fruit I am trying to harvest. I can give it all to God, and I can keep doing things that will help on my end too. I believe God favors that action. Biblically speaking, I yearn for that obedience. I will look on the horizon, mountaintops, and on the faces of folks who love me whole heartedly and without effort. These are my peace makers. My crows. My doves of peace. Keeping my boat in the water becomes impossible when I don't even try to make it to shore. The distance cannot be my focus point any longer. I must take my time. Look down. Evaluate the distractions. God reminded me today that it's never too late to start over, loss is easily a gain.

Sometimes I have grown out of where I live. I am trying to learn to take my time. FOCUS. (Raging fire) When I get out of line, learn to focus once again. Rise to the challenge. Signature temperature. no more short stories. Now, it's time for a novel. Second sight. I am at a point where doing what is necessary to get things right and done well. The waiting in the wings could be our breakthrough. I don't have to hang on to every word, I just have to soak in every word, because every word has turned out to be important. Grooming my focus. Realizing I can inventory what matters. Discovering the real big deals. These fleeting moments of flaring emotions from unsecured outlets letting that damage take control., has drained me from enjoying what fills me up. Matters. Object of my ultimate desire. Even if I am going somewhere in my own mind, it's the therapy and breakdown of what I wanted and needed to hear. Comfort zone.

Finding that road that we tarry on and having our eyes opened to the fact that we are never alone until we chose to be. Usually a person wants to be on that tough path with you. Help you rest. Restore.

That is my known hope.

Oh, and never forget, Show 'em what you've got!

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