Wednesday, April 15, 2009

It's an honor to be nominated....

Well. well, well. You would rather settle than find someone you actually connect with? That's what he said. I may have looked like he slapped me across the face. The bartender asked, "Are you okay, Miss?" Yep. Fabulous. You just answered the next question.

I didn't hear anything else. I smiled.

I played with my camel. Necklace. It's from India. My friends who were missionaries brought it back. The wife gave it to me before she died. They were teachers. If only I could have the gumption. Then again, who knows what God is going to cultivate me to be?

Back to Mr. Man and his settling abilities. He rambled about the money he makes, his job, and nothing else. Absolutely nothing else. His eyes were like marbles. I was one of those dolls that when you tip them back, they roll back. Eyes closed.

He didn't say, what about you? Misconception. About books. Nice cover. Boring inside.

It was just like limbo. How low can you go?

Yesterday, was freedom. Just like that song by Ween? Freedom of 76? Freedom of the body.... Freedom of the mind..... ok, not exactly like that song, cause it talks about ho's, but the first 2 lines are right on.

I did hang with ho's. Not really ho's. TDS, please don't be mad.... (Hammer, don't hurt 'em)

I had that tape. Mommy ho's. Mommy ho's that I love to pieces. Mommy ho's who are righteous mama's. From here on out, I will refer to them as righteous mama's. Maybe make them jackets. Come up with a unbelievable musical score that would rival CATS. yeah, I said it. Open wide for Chunky......

Lunch, was unforgettable. For me at least. I sat there and cataloged every second. I couldn't move fast enough. The glue dried before I could fix it. My girls chasing children, I was still in New Orleans, chasin' ghosts, runnin' through the gallows......

That's how it is. Right? The smallest shift can ruin your day. I received a letter with bad news, but actually turned into good news after a phone call...... It's overcast, but good weather is coming....

Back to yesterday. It was amazing. I was able to hang out with Sue. With her exceptional gaggle of children. She is amazing. All 4, were perfect. It was perfectly orchestrated, then I had a shiver down my back. I have just missed her.

It was like we have been talking over the past 10, 12 years. It felt like home. Then, my belly ached. That's normal. It ached bc I forgot how it felt to reconnect. To be vulnerable. Even to someone who has known me.

We talked. And relived moments. We cried. It was a Lifetime TV movie. I liked it.

On to more fun moments though. We laughed. Discussed everyone. The gloves are off. Everyone. I didn't even mind the cold.

I am even planning a trip to Possum Holler. That's not the true name, but that's what I'm gonna brand it. It would be like um, driving to Murfeesboro. Or Nashville. Not too far way, but enough.

I had to go home to the boys. They had been in their kennels long enough. Plus, I missed them.

Sue had seen right through me. Which makes her an even more righteous mama. She knew exactly what to say, and described how I exist to the T. She knew.

I didn't have any bad dreams last night. Thumbs up.

I did get scared last night though. I had gotten home, and it was super dark. I guess the porch light blew. Usually, I don't get scared at my house. I was walking in through the yard, and I looked over at the cherry tree, and it just looked different. I fell on the step. I dropped all my stuff. Stupid. I just left it there so I could get inside.

When I got in, I sat on the kitchen floor. I coulda called Daddy. I ended up washing my face, took the dogs out, and even though, I really needed a shower, I had scared myself silly. I couldn't. I don't remember getting into bed, but that's where I woke up. It was cold!!! I kept my socks on.

I'm usually not scared. Is that a sign of PMS? Preemptive strike maybe.

This morning, I met a dog that looks like Chris the Dog. Chris the Dog was my boxer who passed away in March of 07. He was a red fawn, flashy boxer. Paws white, like little socks. Beautiful flashy chest. Dark muzzle. Bare bits of white on his face. Flashy is when they have predominately white markings. I guess that makes Champ, super flashy. (Right on the money, honey.)

Speaking of honey, don't knock this till you try it....... I had a peanut butter and banana and, you guessed it, honey sandwich last night. That may be all I need to get by. At least for now.

Good things are coming. I can feel it. Not in a burning belly, I'm on fire kinda way, but, well, I kinda feel it. I almost see your face outside the window.

She said, Paula, you need someone to chase you. I still don't know what that means.

Maybe after call, we could split some wine. And I could get pulled over, going 50 through Dandridge. (I love your mustache..... been on the force long?) ha.

I saw Brian the other night, and he was asking me about alpacas. Beautiful, majestic, animals. I thought, how odd, I guess we talked about it extensively at some point. He asked me a bunch of questions, and, right on cue, I let it all pour out like water....... from a pitcher. The girl he was with, was really into it too, she asked me questions like I was an instructional video.

That's why I was crowned Miss Bullshit. If you read about everything, you become an automatic entertainer. And, I guess people remember all the mindless bullshit you spout out.

Things I need to retain? Forget it. It's in there. Right next to that awesome video of the squirrel water skiing.

Have you ever seen a werecat? I did. Along with Sue. We are witnesses. What's a werecat? That's like, asking what Krispy Kreme is. Fine. A werecat, is a huge cat that eats your soul and anything else that comes it's way. Just don't make eye contact. Just don't.

Am I right on time? Is today the day?

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