Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Rusty Shackleford

This is a code name. It isn't your code name, so you can't claim it. I know a Bernice Matiece pretty well. Mine? Cannot be revealed at is time. Due to cough due to cold. Nope.
I'm not sick, just under the weather.

So under the weather, that I am buried deep in the sand.... along with the baby turtles that mama turtle squirted out late last night.

I guess I could survive in the dryer for a few minutes. On second thought, it's a horrible idea, seeing that I know what it does to a cat. I'm not much bigger.

Rachel said, you need to eat, piling up spoonfuls of food..... I thought, I did.
I ate.
Not enough.
Spiritual food is what I crave right now.
I strain so desperately to hear His words, it frightens me.
Pray. Sit. Wait.

I picture this huge waiting room, with me sitting, reading a book on how to build a sailboat.
You know, so I can set sail?

Rachel means well.

I mean well, but usually it turns into Shenanigans, Part Deux.

Rachel and I talked about her life today.
Her disappointments, and calamity that may or may not happen.
I, in turn, told her mine.
She said, well, you're so calm. On the inside.

I smiled.

The war has been waged.
It continually churns.
My body?
Still in complete meltdown rebellion.
Bring it on. The shakes continue.

Again, it's not hunger. Or stress.

It's Paula.

Upside down, inside out....... Aware.

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