Monday, December 7, 2009

Cow Pies!!!

The theme. Yes. The theme. I believe I am half-heartedly caught up. Sounds fabulous and dreamy, no? Yes. It is. Turns out when I have help, I am actually a portion of pleasant to be around. I look more girl-like than zombie-girl-like. Turns out, I am Mother approved. I'm not shocked. Until she finds out I love The Red Sox. IT's twisted. I KNOW it's not baseball season, but it's just around the corner. What's that? New season, new attitude? Although, I ain't a intense Yankee hater. I, am a Yankee lover. A lover of all things remotely cutesy and a lover of drinking beer at ANY sports event. So there. Again, I love The Sox. Hell, I love all things Boston. Or all things from "up there." Hopefully, The Bear is kinda grinnin' and hopefully tappin' them Rockies after work. So sue me already.

B is skiing today. Congratulations. As long as I do not have to look and roll around in ANY snow, I am perfectly happy. Champ and I woke up in matching knee socks and um, matching attitudes. Tiger FREAKED OUT about the doughnut wheel on my car then decidedly peed on it. He said, LOOK BITCHES. THIS IS MY TIRE. FUCK YOU. Okay. Okay. Geez. Just let me make you a martini. Sit down. NO. No. NO. THESE ARE MY SLIPPERS. You can have the tire. Hell, take all four of them. BUT don't bitch when I can't get to work and you have nothing to eat.

I'm lead dog. I have proven this today.

Lady bird. Who resembles a Popsicle...... would like to stay out of the trash cans, BUT with all the temptation, she CAN'T help herself. I say, "Go ahead Punk." "Make my day." Yeah, horse shit just like that. She's busy though. Smiling.

Somehow I am going to get things done at my house today. With B gone and unable to tempt me from dropping everything I need to focus on. I have no excuse. I have to work here. Just call me Cinderella. Moving said Poinsettia......from down low to up high. I am NOT a person who decorates for Christmas. Mama gave me a pretty flower and I CAN'T turn it down. Champ will want to eat it. Not that it tastes good, just for shizzies and giggles......

Er, many things. Panic attacks in Target yesterday to discussing my lady time. Did I mention I cried 3 times? This is why B deserves some kind of medal. BUT LISTEN. He brings it all on himself. He wants to know. He asks extensive questions that I have no answer for. I made up 89% of my answers yesterday. He believed it. Whew. If in doubt, make it sound creative.

I rrrrrrrrreally want to hike Allum Cave. Er, it's gonna be cold and rainy tomorrow so this isn't possible. Plus........................zzzzzzz. B, again, went skiing. So the last thing he would want to do is go hiking. I mean, I really, really, want to hike Allum Cave. It's on my to-do list.

Wellllllllllllllllll, I'm leaving. On a jet plane. Not really. Just gonna simmer in the bath tub and fight the urge to prank call everybody.


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