Wednesday, December 16, 2009

It's a Chicken Head of ALL Things....

Don't worry about the things that haven't happened yet. Dave Ramsey

Well Dave, this is a pickle. I shouldn't. I know. But I have a sick need to. You know the love I have for switching roles. One day, I might be a sadist, the next, a masochist. It's beautiful harmony. Yes Dave, I will try.

B said something similar last night. Uh, I feel it's similar. Hell, it's probably a different vocabulary word all together. Shoot.

He said that We have the advantage. After I woke up from my heady trip in Wonderland, I asked him to explain. This is a person who has been laid off and probably felt purposeless from time to time. Which is a bummer. Which is tough. Which is alright. (his words) Again, after he nursed my head wound from passing out and hitting the edge of the table I was brought to I asked for more clarity. He told me that We have an advantage because we have had the chance to learn from our mistakes.

B and I went to Sevierville yesterday to The Christmas Place. The Christmas Place looks like Santa Claus vomited everywhere. All 365 days of the year. Not a great place for me. B lured me in with a cup of coffee and promises of not staying long. Which we didn't. I was relieved. I almost had a panic attack. It's a BIG place. It's also just not my cup of tea.

Learning from mistakes? We have had the pleasure to screw up by our own hands and by others. We see clearly now that the rain is gone. B is full of insight, and knows quite a bit about this little girl.

At first, (ok, still....) a wild filly and not listening to anything but my own way.....YES. I am that flawed. He's flyin' like a bat out of hell down 66 and laughs. I looked over and said "What's so funny?" He said, "You've come so far." I wear my most bewildered face and say "What!!!!????"

B continues to say that I don't overreact the way I used to. Then said, that he was proud of me. Of course, I could've said thank you and moved on, but did I ? No. No. I went a 30 minute spill about this and that trying to sell myself to someone who is dying to buy into any of the silly shit I say anyway.

B also reminds me: Not to fuck it up. (In a nice way.) (Remember, lessons learned?)

Wasted energy to say the least. What do you do? I mean, I'm just a silly farm girl LIVIN' to be the in the color portion of The Wizard of Oz. Or at least SEE myself on the other side.

Have I told you lately? No. I don't believe I have. I love you. Also, I could've stayed in bed this morning. I could've stayed all pressed against the ghost dog and cuddled with the lone wolf, A.K.A. The Notorious all day long. Not happening. Gotta make the doughnuts.

I really want to be a forest ranger. Yeah, a forest ranger. I blame Sue. Sorry. All day long I have had these fantasies of trekking through woodlands. Holding maimed wildlife. Setting hawks free in the middle of day. Bull shit of that nature. I love bullshit like that. There are probably qualifications that I would need to meet like: setting a broken limb with snake skin and mayonnaise, using fire signals, allowing myself to be in the cold for extended periods of time, learning what the spiders are writing in their webs to warn others about the bad weather. It all sounds like fun. Let's look into knee socks.

That is what I wore yesterday, so dear Angie your birthday knee socks have been out to play and without a sensible guardian. Tragic.

I tore some bread and put them in a basket. I took piece after piece and dropped them. I was grinning when I realized you ate them. : )

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