Saturday, March 6, 2010

The Battle of Shiloh

I just remembered the dream I had Thursday morning. All I could remember of the dream was that I was crying. I went to bed with Bull Durham on..... then I woke up feeling, well, traumatized. Turns out I had a dream about buying shorts and high heels. B was in my dream. with that being here nor there, my dream ended up being all "bad" and crap. ha. turns out I really dont remember any of my dream. Just the small details.

So what about the big picture? Unfortunately, this is happens in real life. Constantly. We all wake up crying/dream we have been crying. when in reality, maybe we just need to cry it all out. I HAVE to hug it out. Daily. I hug the smelly dogs. I "air hug" the step brothers. If I get too close to them, they just start nibbling. those 2 care nothing of human life. Live and serve. (Hold me.)

Alright. So I have no idea why I had been crying in the dream. Or what it has to do with shorts. One thing I am digging? Is acceptance. She's a hard mistress, but the more I settle in with her, I find her ways endearing. As hard as the road feels, it always leads home. AND home is where the heart is. Oh, and where the coffee brews too.

this morning I heard the song on the swiffer commercial - Who's that lady and crap. I really dig that song. I really dig those commercials also. The one in the attic with the stuffed doll? And the cat is all "Hey biatches." Just like a pussy to get in the middle. (This means YOU Stepbrothers.)

Remember, it's just water. It will all clean up. Don't you dare make me mention the sadist/masochist Queen Bee of them all, TIME. She is relentless. Overbearing, giving you a feeling of wanting to hold a pillow over her face as she sleeps. BUT SHE NEVER SLEEEEEEEPS. What a cheater. Bear with me. I think I am trying to be a pillar of support here.

Uh, back to acceptance. I am accepting many flaws I see in myself. I am loved by folks. I have a rapid supply of support from a beautiful array of folks. I like this. The good junk brings it all around to being able to see the "good" things about me. Which helps me see the "good" in troubling situations. Such as but not limited to "feeling like dog poo." ( Due to the good weather, I am on "dog poo" pick-up.) rar. Long story short? I am terrified of buying shorts and it does make me cry, but I really think the dream was about self-acceptance.

You want me a little further off the beaten path? Come on then, and pull up your socks. Geez. I am worried. About everything. My normal 5 AM prayer? Was long and tortured. I was fighting sleep cause I wanted it all out. then, I realized I need to pray with a little more purpose. Which isnt bad. I'm just going to try. And decipher where all the bones LBD keeps dragging into the yard. Oh, and load the .22. Sit out in the sunlight and clean that thing is what I should do. DONT WORRY. Mama taught me every thing I know. BTW, no worries. Today, I am going to go where the rocks kinda meet a SINKHOLE. I am. IDC. Thats I dont care to the rest of you. I think theres treasure there.

Uh, so pick up poop for one. Trouble finding for 2. Rocking it all out in knee socks for 3. Oh, and hoping B doesnt burst into flames in the meantime. I love you Nason's.

I'm moving to The Meadows. Meet you there!

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