Friday, August 7, 2009

Guns Blazin'

That's the theme, baby. I am like a race horse, comin' out of the gate. You may have to step back, 'cause I might knock you over...... like a rock n' roller.....

I will admit, things started out pretty hairy this morning. We got up at 6, the boys lazed in the bed. I made breakfast, fed the boys, fed my Lady Bird. I fed the 2 stepbrothers too..... filled up all the water bowls and started working on myself.

I poured my coffee and flipped through a book or 10, listen to Hank Williams, plotted my day.

Do you know if the landfill takes old mowers? I have one to take, somewhere. And a weed eater. Both broken. An old tv stand too. Shit, that is just cluttering things up.

Updates? The farm? Looking spectacular. Bryan started bush hogging, and it looks great. I am pleased with how it looks. Monday morning, I really need to spray poison around the barn. Before work. It will be worth it. I need to try to prepare as much as possible. I hauled off the mountain of brush, Wednesday night. We had some trees cut, I hauled everything I couldn't move on my own. Terry and I worked on the smokehouse some. Patchin' holes. Will paint the plywood when it's done.
Terry bought me a gift! A book! A pin-up girl book! I love it!
Terry said he would work on the smokehouse while I am gone. And, maybe weed eat.
Do you see, how much I need you all?

Priceless moment, Tuesday. Bryan and I were discussing what needed to be done. And, I told him, I wasn't exaggerating!!! (This, helped me quite a bit, to feel acknowledged it also equaled feelings of empowerment.) Raging vomiting Tuesday, too. Half anxiety, half ulcer?
I believe, he couldn't believe his eyes, now in the thick of things.
It's so much work.
I am very thankful for his help. I am thankful for every one's help. Jamey and Rachel have some posts for me to build new fence. Yay!!! All the way around, it looks as if things are full circle. Trying, everyday. I have to know, things are better.

My weekend? Has plans of nothing but fun, and relaxation. I am cutting hair!
Ash and George so far, and anyone else who can sit still long enough.
Got it, Josh? (insert big grin, here.) I hope for nothing but tomfoolery, and juggling children all weekend. I can't wait. I am hoping for big balloons, lots of coffee consumption, trampoline talks, whiskey moods, Goodwill stores, shenanigans...... take your vitamins......

I was able to see a glimpse of Angie and Abby Wednesday. It never is long enough to spend time with those girls. (I mean it Angie, take it easy!)
I love you girls!
I think, we can get there together......

I am learning so much as of late. For one, Never, ever, ever, put yourself in a compromising position. Always have a means of escape, and always do the right thing. Even, when it doesn't make sense, or you just don't want to. I know, the sin tastes so sweet, but I promise, the reward, will taste even better. My flesh? Usually wins over the pure brawn of things, and I will continue to try not fall for the folly. (Read Psalms)

I will choose wisdom, over being right. I will be the bigger person, even when they want to be the giant. I will not fail. I will keep running. I will keep eating right.


See, at this time, if you caught me out, and I saw a cage with chilli cheese fries in it....
it would be the only way to catch me.

What I mean by that, is I am blur.
Moving faster than speed, light, and ultimately time.
The essence of who I am, is coming out in such bright colors, and sounds, the special equipment couldn't be bought, it has to envelope you, and you, have to be willing to accept it.

A clip from my horoscope? "stick with artistic stuff to give you an outlet, and don't hesitate to give yourself plenty of opportunity to exit."
Pure fucking genius.(Read The Wall Street Journal, for guidance, and inspiration.)

This isn't a "Let go, and let Gawd" thing. It's a "Hey mister! I have been workin' hard for the man, and I need a smoke." Or drink. Or both. Just leave me on this rock to sun my belly, I swear, it's gonna help me. Therapy is expensive, church, in whatever form of worship you need, is free. (Not just a hat rack, my friend!)

I cant turn my back on what I need to do, either, but, a Paula without any play is a dull Paula.

Or however that phrase goes........

I love this side of me, when the puzzle pieces start coming together. I don't feel so frustrated.
Or stagnant. I feel useful. I feel, good. More winds, more storms will come. I will continue to pray for comfort. I also saw The Future Mr. Paula Northern today. He was a farmin' skateboarder.....
Wonder if he were a Christian? I'm just sayin'.... that combination would make me explode.

The ultimate Scooby Snack.

How did I know he was a skatin' farmer? His jeep had 1. A Pluto Sports sticker on it. 2. A sticker that said "No farms, No food." 3. I saw him get out of said jeep with said stickers.... too bad I was too chicken to say anything.... or notice if he had a ring on...... damn it.

He had little glasses on too..... I know, you cant judge a book by its cover.....

A girl can dream, right?

BTW, I am a seasoned boxer dog spotter. I can see them from a country mile. There are 2 who live on my road, about 2 houses down, and they live in a pen. I want to sneak down there and break them out. I would bring them to my house and love them. I would blow zuberts on them.
I have spotted 4 today. (Not including, Mr. Magnificent, Champ)

Da Vinci.
William Shakespeare.
Martin Luther.
John the Baptist.
They are the strange ones who challenged society with a different way of thinking. They were rebels and heretics of their day. But, Jesus WAS the non-conformist of all time.
That's one of the reasons I love Jesus so much. Such a brave man he was, when he walked the earth. What a forgiving Savior we can run to when it just doesn't add up. As you know, I pray.
Very hard. I have lists. Crumpled, torn prayer list. With names upon names, need upon need.

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Matthew 5:44

For me, living is for Christ,
and dying is even better. ----- Paul the Apostle. Beheaded in Rome, 65 A.D.

Remember the Lord's people who are in jail and be concerned for them. Don't forget who are suffering, but imagine that you are there with them. Hebrews 13:3

You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. ------ C.S. Lewis

You all are constantly in my thoughts.

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