Friday, August 21, 2009

Rainbows/Love Letter

Dear Lover,

Reading my Yahoo!!! today, I discover a headline that states, "America is losing faith in President Obama." Now, you should know by now, I do not follow political bullshit, and just as long as I feel as if I still hold my inalienable rights in my little hands, then, all is still well.

But, I churned the butter, so now, I have to continue. I love our President. I love him because, he is my leader. Do I agree with him all the time? No, of course not. I am a red blooded Republican. Plain and simple. My issues? Of course anything moral, I'm all over it. Surprisingly, I have been told I am extremely open-minded by liberal friends, even people who don't know the meat of me..... Unbelievable. Sounds like me, a walking acronym. I believe in all Conspiracy Theories to a point, because the truth is behind all lies.......

I, as a woman, need to be vigilant about myself. Preeeettttty soon, as a woman, I may HAVE to dress like a whore and pretend it's okay. What? Wait, that is already happening......(too bad)

Of course, dear, I have the CHOICE not to!!! (all the time.)

I love the Democrat, Republican, Liberal, the Sadist, to the Masochist.....

(Which came first, the chicken or the egg?)

The whole point, is we all knew this man couldn't perform miracles, that we all secretly wanted him to.

What next? Continue to support your country. Agree to disagree. Respect the man in power, for goodness sakes. My issue? We build folks up, just to drag them through the mud.

It's written in the Bible. There are parables in there to back this fact up.

Alrighty then. I'm off that soap box, cause it hurts to tiptoe so much. Agenda, agenda, come on out. Storms are coming this way, and I welcome them. It's gonna be a messy day. I have lost my light rain jacket, that was pretty pricey, and now I need to find a new one to wallow around in.

I need to purchase new stones for the front yard, due to the fact, when it rains quite a bit, my yard turns nasty. Stones need to meet the driveway. Spraying poison, (in long sleeves, if I feel like it tomorrow.) I may be missing opportunity, but, I can only focus on so much.

Do you know how loud it is in my head? I'm surprised I can hear half the conversations I have.

Here I am today. Being sick yesterday helped me. the rest was needed. The low-carb thing? Is going very well. I want sweets. Bottom line. I want starchy foods. Bottom line. Am I eating them?


Self-denial equals self-satisfaction. It does. It's fucking religion. I have lost. Maybe not weight, but inches. Clothes are fitting differently. I still want sweets. they make me feel bad though. Physically, they make me feel run-down, and sick. Sure, there's nothing more than I love but a doughnut sandwich, on top of a pint of ice cream. I can taste the chocolate Mayfield ice cream right now.... it's almost like buyers remorse, but, you cant take the food back. You know what I speak of. The guilt. We all have experienced feeling bad after gorging on something, (food or otherwise, men, women, drugs, whatever, any vice) how the guilt haunts you until you swear, and cry, you wont ever do it again.

Guess what? We all do it again. I don't know why being bad, feels so good. I understand repercussions. I understand consequences. I'm a bad, bad girl. I want/luv everything that makes me crazy, or everything, that makes me feel bad afterward.

I guess we all want that big reward. Turns out, the big reward reaps a ton of bullshit. Not this time around. That's why this whole thing, and remember Lent? It was so important to me. Same here. It's going to help me. Teach me a lesson.

Bend me over the bed, and whack my rear with a hairbrush.

I'm that bad of a bad girl.

I slashed my finger wide open last night. I was sitting on the bed, Champ and Tiger, watching me act a fool, and shouting. It's kinda nasty, more nasty than I realized. Keeping clean and covered, and hopefully not ripping it open. Yeah. It's that bad.

Forgive me, for my brutal honesty. Reflection, is powerful, and should teach lessons.

My reflection, is coming up around the bend......

If you see an old door, or if you have one laying around, that you will not use, I need one.
I want to make a table.

Alright, I have to share this with everybody. I found this amazing lady, on Daydream Lily, a blog I religiously follow. The artist/photographer is Chrissie White. Man, she's neat. Yeah, she's the tits. Honestly, if you get a minute, google this lady. Inspirational.

Gasp. Blah. Yuck. I am going to stop reading about murder. I mean, I guess, real murder. Well, scratch that. I am lucky to be alive. How so? What brought this out? The murder of the Newsom murders. The carjacking? I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm just lucky. I'm lucky, I haven't been turned into some one's table legs for coffee table in the living room. Yeah, bad.

I have lived alone. Alot. Left my doors unlocked. Walked through dark parking lots.

It's a miracle. Damn it, I'm scared now.

Focus. I lost it. Baker's Street is on the radio, and that's a kick ass song.......

I'm just gonna continue to be a sponge for the next few weeks. Looks like that's what works.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Taking advice from Zack Arias (still thanking you, Sue)
I am going to write down every idea I have. No matter how big, or small it. is.
I will stay accountable. I will. You will poke me in the side about it too....
I am staying on my private journey, moving to Montana, and I know,
I should just give up up and plant it in Boston...... (just score tonight SOX!!!!)
Continue drawing. Continue working on the farm.
Slowly, it's going to blow me away......

I have too much on hold. Fall, is here. It is. Look at the trees. They're all a different shade of's haunting me like effing Micheal Myers.......(August is playing a cruel joke.)

See ya soon, baby.

P.S. I still love Jesus too!

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