i do not know if you have seen the joy known as "Tool Academy" but I encourage you to watch snippets of this show and have a real breakdown about how many tools you know. or may be living in your house with you. (sorry AKA)
this week is a scary one. encouraged to work through it. refrain from scratching anyones eyes out. hey, its not your fault if they choose to get in the way. right?
B and i dug around in a barn yesterday, ate Cardin's cheeseburgers and whispered like children exchanging secrets. we had a rough start to the day but it all ironed out after coffee and hoidy toidy judging who could outrun the other. we ended up compromising and faced the day. together. it was refreshing. this is why we have been able to exist as a couple so far. he also noted we have been together for 6 months. of course i crushed his ego and told him it was only 5. he noted this was a defense mechanism for me. i concurred. we still came out fighting like Champs. but in a good way. we took the dogs out and sat on the glider i had painted with spray paint a few summers ago. B held Champ's leash while we sat. Champ was good as gold. not begging to be on our laps. Tiger of course was another ball of wax. he just wants to know what lies beyond the horizon. i try to tell him there are villains and vikings. he doesnt seem to care. this actually makes him run harder. whatev. the boots are loud.......
LBD soaked it in. then ran off to hunt the water monkeys that live in the woods. shes such a good girl!
we discussed 5 year plans after mulling over our 5 minute plan, and came up with that it can be difficult to have a realationship when in your 30's. especially when things are new, you feel like you may be on a time schedule. you have to be selective with your time because you dont want to screw up anything or anyone who isnt ready. (whos worse? we switch roles of the white rabbit) (my watch is full of sugar) you have to decide early on what your goals are just so you dont waste anyones time. it maddening. B really needs and deserves a great job. he thanks me incessantly about picking him to date when he lives in extraordinarily different circumstances. (i think im a golden goose. you already knew this.) im glad he is able to ski. apparently he has been able to ski quite a bit this year. and the snow has been spectacular. it makes me happy for him. 30 has been a good year for him in hindsight. we were able to be friends when the fire wasnt there last year. he takes my feelings into consideration. he picks white hairs out of my lashes. he has key goals in mind that fit in with mine. its a comfort. he loves hiking. he loves the outdoors. he understands i have to run around like a wild gangbanger to get all my willeys out. he looks at me with love. and i return the looks gladly.
shell see im not so tuff. ya billy joel, you know it.
i dont need a pocket full of money just wild desire and honey.
BTW, I had a PB and banana milkshake yesterday. that was my indulgence on the sweet side. i have pilates tonight. im ready. im ready. im not spongebob caresalot. im a machine of a body, mind, and spirit. ready for the next step, at least being prepared like a faithful boyscout.
B has cattle to put up with his daddy tomorrow. i may go and sit in the barn. i know its kinda chilly, but i love it. i like a cowhand. i like a cowhand unafraid of reinventing himself. im hypnotized. bring it Lionel Richie. ive been waiting a full lifetime for you.