I really, really, really want to buy new stuff. I mean, all kinds of stuff. Like over the knee socks. A beach cover up. A new bikini. I want a different look. I want the weather to be different. I want to want more. I want to suppress my want. the want never fizzles. Only fueled a little more by the, well, drought. I said it. Drought.
I am thankful, and hopeful, I will be awarded a little more. A little more is on the way. After the great garage sale of life.
Spring fever? You have no idea. Not a clue to the deep digging of feeling the sunshine I long to lay in.
Really.
Even if I have to lay out in said sun with said socks on over the knee. WITH leggings.
Im demanding. But I dont believe I demand enough. Im all Alice with a tinge of wanting to be the Red Queen. Its true. Im beyond Alice singing with the flowers in the field.
I am the picture of everything anomaly. Its true. Im just about a beast of burden in this manner. How frustrating! (I miss you!!)
Change happens all the time. I just have to evaluate my vision, and to see it. Adjustments. Measures.
A heaping version of it all. My eyes cannot be bigger than my stomach, theres just no way. If your thinking I got that all wrong, you just havent spent efficient time with me.
Do over begins. Even if I have to force it.
Im in this melancholy been watchin too many movies that breed too much thinking. Drowning in music that reminds me life is always going on. Reading too little books that help facilitate doubt in others. Never realizing.
I hate intrusion.
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