Ok, all. I did admit to Sue what I would love to name my future children. And, I 'm not telling you. Never mind, I'm going ahead. Caroline. Is my girl name. Morning is my girl name. Wyatt is my boy name. I love Sue. And her family. And her utter capacity to make me so happy in simplicity it blows my stinkin' mind. Her entire family, husband, sweet children, have treated me like a total gift. Excited for my arrival. I realize now. I realize, I'm more than fine.
I, love, love.
It is very difficult to be as hungry as I am. I am hungry for new experiences, people, music. I long to hold every face in my hands. And, examine every beautiful facet of shimmer. Glimmer.
I hear Dave Matthews. I want too much. So me.
If I have love, if I have faith, if I have you, if I have thoughts, if I have praise, if I have work, if I have it all, I still want more. Crave more. Tie it up, and hold on to it.
Last year, a friend of mine had said, maybe you didn't appreciate what you had. She didn't mean the way it had come out.
Listen, I examine everything I say, or type, or feel. I do, I have anxiety about how it may make another person feel.Because, I have absorbed every word, a person has ever said to me.
Clanging in me.
My heart hurts. Not surprised. My heart hurts, for, you. For myself. Sometimes, my heart hurts when I am very happy. It hurts, bc, I am not complete. It hurts, because all of my goals, have not been accomplished. Emotional goals included.
I mean, what you see, is what you get.
Shy, in your face, embarrassed, proud. Those words, describe how I feel on a daily basis. Which isn't a bad thing. It means, I experience everything, and I want to.
Maybe that's why. That's why, it is how it is.
Exceptional. And you should be jealous.
Drive you crazy. But in a good way.
Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your day, it makes me feel special.
Talk soon, sweetheart.