Friday, October 23, 2009

38 Special

Hello friends. I need you. Please don't ever be surprised by said statement. I mean it. Totally. (That was for you, Mr. Wise.) I am starting out with how amusing life can be, and truly realizing God is in control more than I have ever given him credit for. I mean, you know me. Spiritual. Trying to see the good in things. The circle is far yet complete dear, and that's fine by me. There are things, and people we become addicted to. Or we believe we need said thing or person to get by. This isn't true. At all. Everything we need is within ourselves, and quite frankly our realationship with God, or whoever or whatever you believe in. Belief is important. Whether you believe in the air in the branches of the trees, or the fish in the sea. I can commend you on that.

I wouldn't ever imagine trying to change you into believing what I believe. That may not sound biblical. As you know, I fully trust in the bible. I stand by being a Christian woman. Jesus Christ was a man. He lived as a man, and died as a man. I believe he knows everything we all suffer from. Including PMS. He is that knowing. Back on track though. My point is I long to respect you as a person. Your family, or lack of. I am actually happy. I mean, not bullshitting you happy. I may be fully satisfied within myself and that is an amazing feeling. This feeling isn't drug induced, alcohol made, but this feeling has come from really, really, reaching inside and finding how rewarding my journey has been. I have always told you how grateful I am for how the past 2 years have been for me. I am grateful. Read again. I am grateful. I am transformed through fire, and I am a horse of a different color. Thank goodness!!! I love my stripes, I love the singed look that still burns. I am exceptional and I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you.

Back to me, I still have 100 million emotional barriers to beat down with a baseball bat. How can I do this? Well soldier, I will continue to kick ass and take names. Remind myself what a potful of losers I have and had to sift through half of my life and try like hell to remain positive. Of course, the aliens attack and take over my life. That may have already happened. Wait. It did happen in string theory. I have dog shit on my shoe. It stinks. So what do I do? Soak the mother fucker and hope it comes off. Does it mean I'm not mad as hell about it? No. I'm pissed. I'm totally about to go ape shit.

Wandering now.

I told you yesterday I would tantalize you with conversations with Vicky Clause. So here we go. I brought my comforter over bc she has a bad ass set of what she calls and what she believes is a washing machine and dryer. No. These things are from the future and tell me what to do. they have legs. Mind control power that I seek out. I am such a slave to these things I have to go to my parent's house and fill them full of said comforter and soap to pacify my mother and the "machines" themselves. I also give them a reach around, since that's the nice thing to do and all. I entertain Mama and she entertains me right back. We have many discussions about this that and mostly, my sister. Nothing bad, we just discussed her at length. It was beautiful yesterday and Mama starts talking to me about guns and ammunition. I grin. I love to shoot guns with Mama. She's so tough. One day, I'm gonna be just like her. You know, when I grow up.

We sat outside on the porch while Daddy was checking my oil and patting me on the back, the neighbor's dog comes up. Now she is not supposed to be off her runner, and you guessed it. She's a boxer. Her name is Heifer. Yep, Heifer. She's huge for a female boxer, but she's also intact. I mean, she isn't spayed. Daddy and I take Heifer back to her house and I love on her for a few minutes. I am a boxer spotter. It could be off the highway inside some one's house, and I could spot it. It's a freaky power, but the power chose me, not the other way around.

Just as I was walking out she brings up how there is an opinion about me in the greater Piedmont area. I am a beautiful girl, BUT. But!!!! I am high strung and high maintenance. I ask Mama what she said to these morons who obviously have never said ten words to me..... She responded back simply, "She's my baby, and there's nothing else like her."

I looked shocked but responded back with "Right back at ya kid."

Y'all are great, but I must transform into a bull/winged fire-breathing dinosaur to get through it all. Bye for now, but not forever.

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