Friday, October 9, 2009

I wanna kiss you all over....

You in?

This is how my morning began. With the song that makes you feel dirty, but if you were in a bathtub of men, it would somehow be okay? Maybe that's just me. Today is a new day. Today has a positive air about it. I wish I were hiking. With torrential rains heading my way, I am aggravated. It's my LOSIN' THE THIRGENITIES weekend, and I have bed head, and I look a little sleepy-eyed. I dig it. I've been told that's when I look the most beautiful. It's probably the truth. Cause you can actually see the real me. All freckly, and I smell good from sleepin'. You know the smell I'm talking about.

Imaginary lover, where are you? Inside my head no doubt. I have a lot of ideas perkin' in my head. I need collaboration. Really, I think that's all I am missing. Had small meltdown on Sue yesterday, but I think it turned to be a profitable endeavor. I got things out. I'm this little person who wants/needs someone to take care of, but right now I feel so selfish. Which is good. Pastor Bob says I am in a place of "not falling for it." You know, the see-through dynamic of a person trying to take over your life. I'm not there. I'm as close to a super hero as you can get. (Including tights)

So don't leave me here. We should only take what we know about each other FROM each other. Agreed? Listen, I know it's 9:21am, but I really would love a glass of wine. Or a baby shot of Vodka. Warm me right up. No wonder it's so popular in Russia. Perpetually cold. I think I'm just in a drinking mood. Sometimes our reputations precede our expectations. (er, obligations.) The whole thing might be a little more spectacular than I thought. I just need a closer look. Time could run out before we get the chance. I'm not the best at holding back, I mean, I squeal a lot. I make big deals about nothing. I collect snail shells. I put them in the bird's nest I found on the window seal in the kitchen. (right along with the fortunes) I make secret wishes. I maintain duels in my own mind. I continue to be a loaded gun. I continue to eat you up. I kiss the dogs goodnight. I would make plans to call you, I would make more comments, I will because I can. No time like the present. Do you believe in love? Huey Lewis does. I promise not to leave you behind. Are there questions you still have? Can you believe I am crushing on myself?

Go ahead. Let go. Relax. It's going to be okay. I think twice. I make amends. I continue the anomaly. I pray for clarity. I have vision. We could. Together. If we were in a fine mess together, it probably wouldn't be so bad. We could enjoy the drop together. No one could hurt me like you do, and you could never be hurt the way I hurt you. It's a satisfying concept.

Are we falling in love?

Read on, it's about to get good. I write about love quite a bit. Not because I want it so badly, but because I have it! Mama and Daddy love me. I have my sister and her family. I have beautiful friends that have husbands who invite me into their homes, fill me full of beer and food. I am saving the best for last. The children in my life! Although I have none of my own, Angie's sweet girl coined the phrase Paw Paw, and started a trend with Sue's and Josh's 4 motley crew, all call me Paw Paw also. I love it. My niece and nephew call me Wheelo. It's a blessing. I have a rich life, and I am so lucky to be a part of yours too. How special!

Mama and I are going to lunch this week, which is the one thing I wanted for my birthday. We will probably drink mimosa's and have to be picked up by Rachel again. Mama and I are gonna shoot at the farm, which is hilarious and fun. Probably picnic in the back field in the truck bed. She called me her "birthday baby" last night. I eat it up!

We could have drinks together. I could break you in. It may be an enjoyable experience for both parties. Pleasing to the eye, mind, body. We could even grab the spiritual straws. Don't stop me now honey, I'm on top of the world. Shocking? Being the fact I am the treasure at the end of the rainbow and all. Fun times. Finding me right where you left me. As usual, I am full of anticipation. Ready for the performance. First and foremost, I have visions of grandeur. Versus. Vs. Versus. Strangled, struggled, variety. Let's rock it. What do I have to lose?

The risk most of the time does not outweigh the outcome.

Edgy. Sexy. Show me that side. Maybe this is a new leaf. Could that side be explored a little further? The truth may come out, and it won't be so bad. Here we are looking for innovation, when all we need is to be able to create it. Starving for attention, starving for a touch. Starving for a calm movement. Like the eye of the storm. (Notice, how I hook you being a walking contradiction?) Victorious in that claim Son, Victorious.

Do remember the tragic awakening? The fever? The demand? The swift force of nature? When I have to be captivated enough to go out of state? I suppose this is a friendly warning. So hit me with your best shot. I'm not just a memory, I am reality. Intense revolution. Gosh, am I ever ready for an intense revolution! That great release. The grand illusion of reality. I crave more fire. I am obviously learning to hear you a little better. I can't try if you are not willing. See the shaky resistance? Line drawn. Line crossed, Sailor.

The frailty in reaching out is a conundrum. How to. When to. I am able to write lines and lines of genius quotes and lavish ideas without modern technology. I don't have the latest phone. It's used, and from 2004. I only require a phone to make phone calls. Everything else is extra.

NOTE: Technology has never catapulted me into favor. Ever.

Technology doesn't make a difference. I do. My spirit!

My hand controlling the pen in my journal does. Here I am advertising reality, you should so get your Paula on. She's one in a million and bound to blow your mind. This behavior is encouraged. Try not to be obvious, play my pawn, and I get bored. Up and down, where she stops, nobody knows. Let's all be impassioned and entertained...... and no, that's not a movie review. It's PLN's Hot Life! Starring, you.

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