Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Pin-up Underpants

Good morrow, my friends. This little piggy had too much wine last night, and is hungover today. I, like a wild ass drank 2 bottles and a half of wine last night. It was fabulous. Let's start at the beginning. Monday, I was a pill to be had. Feeling divinely womanly, and hopped up on PMS, I decide I would love to eat every ones faces off. Is this wrong? I was so on edge I would have benefited from a open handed spanking. Right? Too bad there's not a soul on the planet big enough to give it to me. I drove Terry effin bananas up until the point we had coffee in the huge boat in the BPS. I was so bitchy. I had a hard time with my manners. This is me confessing.

Contorted dreams Monday night, but I did feel quite a bit better yesterday, and I didn't have the urge to bite people's heads off. What a good feeling! B and I worked for a while and then scooted out the door for some fun. We ate a great meal, I d-rank 2 glasses of wine, and had some hearty fried green tomatoes. Yummy. Then we drove up to Elkmont, and it set my soul on fire. Elkmont has old cabins from the turn of the century, and I swear to God, I felt like Alice in Wonderland. It was beautiful and perfect. I found my serenity. I found the place I want my cute little house to be. I constantly had a glimpse of a white ghost dog, running through these abandoned beauties. Every little place, nook and kranny, took my breath away. It was a wet dream of Hansel and Gretel come alive. Of course it started to get dark and we had to exit. So this is where consumption of bottle #1 took place. We kind parked and took turns drinking out of a KFC cup. Hot, right? It didn't matter to me of course, he let me drink the whole bottle and I talked my buzzed brains out. What comfort. On to bottle #2, horrible mistake....... Bottle #2 caused my brains to literally come out of it's casing. I lost my mind. Smoked cigarettes, cussed like a sailor, howled at the moon. P.S. I fell in the yard. That's right. Fell in the yard, into the mud, and all we could do was laugh about it. Bed was such a great idea, I went right to sleep. The urge to hurl my guts up didn't hit until 6 or so. Then it was on like donkey kong. Lesson learned, or so I try to remind myself today. I feel some better. I plan on eating much soup and taking Tylenol.

On the next half of the day, I am meeting my Minchews for my dog sitting gig. I am going to try to go see Sue and the fam but won't leave til later. There's someone who really need to "shoot things," and it ain't me or Mama. Terry and I are going to see Adam tonight. His grandmother has passed away and we need to see the fine young man. If you read this Adam, I love you.

I'm doing well. Things are how they are. Fall is coming, it's a wet mess and I'm trying like hell not to be aggravated with said progression.

Still want to be Micheal Myers for Halloween, but the sailor suit is cute as hell as well. Who knows? I'm trying to get things together before becoming horribly irritated for no reason.

That's all for now, but until then, DRINK UP!

Oh crap. I forgot to tell you about Champ eating a tampon (not used) but pooping it out this morning. Silly dog.

Yee. Oh, and Sue.... I cannot wait to assist in writing your bio. You make me feel like a God Blessed celebrity.

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