Sunday, October 4, 2009

What the hell?

The title came out more of a question rather than a statement. Isn't it crazy how things can come out the way we don't mean them? It's a battle I certainly fight. "Allegedly" and "Suspect" go hand and hand today. I dreamed in full technicolor last night. Sometimes things work out to our advantage. On occasion, things work out the way we want them. Sometimes you don't know what you got til it's gone. Every now and then the things we get what we wanted and when received, are the things that are not good for us. When that lion roars, it's terrifying. Sometimes, things work out well, for our advantage and it is God's will for our lives. But we didn't know it until we had to wait for the great things. Half the time we are undecided - so usually how things work out in situations - it turns out pleasant and unexpected. Daniel and the Lions den. What an inspirational story of the Bible. A story to teach us to wait on God. Learning to trust in the Lord. Which is hard. It should be hard though. God wants us to understand things, and sometimes we have to go into uncharted territory . Sounds tough right? Sounds like a God who doesn't care? A complete opposite of what he wants. God wants a Father /child realationship. God embraces our childlike faith. Even when times are testy.

Mama told me my birth weight yesterday. Now kittens, it is the countdown. She will tell me a nugget of my birth from now on until the 11th. How sweet is that? I want to be just like her when it comes to helping my children feel special. I at least hope so.

It's funny to me. How come a handful of men I know, who didn't want children... always end up with at least one? Come on. Collaborate with me. Continue to write out ideas. We all go up and down, don't we? The cries we cry that are so deep, when a peep doesn't come out of us.....hurts the deepest.

As everyone should now, I am in control of my lady parts and not the other way around. I am a well oiled machine that attempts to produce appropriate choices. Therefore, I am strong, and not using my lady parts to get what I want. That my dear, is manipulation. I am important. I don't need to use anyone. I can take you or leave you. I have been moving forward. If I have been living on and on - See how I have made it a choice? I am in control of my destiny. (to an extent) I will continue to be alive, with or without someone. I'm just fine with that. So if you maybe getting the picture misconstrued, let me save you the trouble. Always be a straight shooter, even when I am afraid, I find a way. And you can too.

I respect my peers madly. I understand that lettuce makes the world go round. (say hello to your mother for me.) But dearie, your opinion will not make or break me.

You know I would be with you if I could.

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