I am one who does read between the lines. I know it's not logical, and I am more Captain Kirk than Spock at any time. That's how I roll dude. I am hungry. Hungry for information, knowledge. I still wonder why. Still. Bryan and I cut down trees, hung PRIVATE PROPERTY signs, ate lunch, went to Lowe's, talked shop,drank coffee, I flaked out on Pete once again, talked to both Angie and Sue, felt melancholy for a moment, and still my day isn't done. Not by a long shot.
I still miss the good times.
I look in the mirror and I don't recognize myself, but I will say, on the outside I have not aged a whole lot. I ran into a man friend not too long ago, he said he couldn't believe "how womanly" I had become. That makes me grin, but I still see a girl. A beautiful girl, but still a girl.
I am not comparing apples to oranges, but I am comparing notions of grandeur.
I cant wait to have a little more. Just a little more of what I have right now. Just a little more of what I would like my life to be. I want a little more Georgia O'Keeffe in my life. Struggles create wonderful art. I also need to read more Kerouac too.
I see things as magenta right now. Bright. It's a horse of a different color.
Although it is turning cold, my birthday is coming, I have been divorced for a full year now. My old wedding anniversary is next week. It's only a day in my mind anymore. Pleas embrace yours.
I promise not to be lazy, and to pick up my socks. One day, all will be repaired and I will be manning a new ship. I swear I can taste the salt on my lips. That's the tough part of being my own captain some days. Although, I can feel Michael Myer's breath on my neck so I'm not lonely at all.
I miss my friends. I miss certain comforts I may have taken for granted. The shoes just didn't fit.